Thursday, January 8, 2009

Book Review: “The Secret”

Ari Brouillette's review of "The Secret" in it's original form can be found here, but is pasted below since I am sure it will be taken down by Amazon very very soon.


 

Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.
At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.
My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be anally raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.
Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.
The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.
The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness actually made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

New sayings

When life gives you Lemons, go around the corner and get yourself some fucking oranges…

SEC 2004 vs. SEC 2008

The argument this year has been that the SEC is down and that is the reason that Alabama and Ole Miss had such great success this year. The response to which by the Alabama fans is that the SEC was down in 2004 when Auburn went undefeated (it's always about Auburn isn't it with you people?) Here is the statistical breakdown of the SEC in those years:

Looking at win differentials
SEC from 03 to 04
Alabama improved by 3 wins
Auburn improved by 6 wins
Miss St. declined by 2 wins
LSU and Arkie declined by 3 wins
Ole Miss declined by 5 wins (eli leaving)

2 teams in the west improved and 4 declined

Georgia and Florida stayed the same
UT and UK improved by 1 win
South Carolina improved by 2 wins
Vandy is the only East team to decline (by 1 win)

3 teams in the East were up (AU had 3 wins against them)
2 Teams stayed the same (1 AU win)
1 team declined

All in all 5 teams were improved (4 AU wins), 2 stayed the same (1 AU win), and 5 declined (4 AU wins)

2007 to 2008
Ole Miss improved by 6 wins
Alabama improved by 5 wins
Arkansas declined by 3 wins
LSU, Auburn, and Miss St. declined by 4 wins

So 2 teams in the West improved and 4 teams declined

East
UF improved by 3 wins
Vandy improved by 2 wins
South Carolina improved by 1 win
UGA and UK declined by 1 win
Tennessee declined by 5 wins

So 3 teams improved (0 bama wins) and 3 teams declined (3 bama wins)

So you had 5 teams that improved (1 bama win) and 7 teams that declined (7 bama wins)

The total differential is in 04 the SEC was down 1 win, and in 08 the SEC was down 5 wins

In 2004 of Auburn's 9 SEC wins only 4 came against teams that declined from the year before

In 2008 of Alabama's 8 SEC wins 7 came against teams that declined from the year before and only 1 against an improved team (ole Miss)

In 2008 of Ole Miss' 5 SEC wins, 4 were against teams that declined from the year before and only 1 against an improved team (Florida, woohoo Rebels)

The SEC was indeed down this year and Alabama and Ole Miss reaped the benefits, both were improved teams no doubt, but they feasted on a weakened SEC and 5 of the 6 most disappointing teams in the nation were on Alabama's schedule (#1 Clemson, #2 Michigan, #3 Tennessee, #4 Auburn, #5 LSU, #6 Georgia (preseason #1 and all))

*Ed. note - 03 was a 12 game season and 04 was an 11 game season so i dropped one win each from 03 since every team put a nobody on their schedule for that extra game.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Defending Tony Dungy

Sorry guys, this is my new obsession. I just want to lay that out.
Also, I promise to avoid talking about Peyton Manning. This isn't
about #18. This is about defending one of the hands down best coaches
of our time.

Dungy is getting blasted in the media and I am really taking issue
with it. First of all, Dungy's team is setting records for regular
season proficiency. Why doesn't he get more credit for that? You
know, what Dungy should do is set expectations lower during the
regular season. They constantly have personnel turnover on the
defensive side of the ball. Recently the Colts have battled severe
injuries. Perhaps Dungy should just not play so hard and so well
during the season. No one in their right mind would criticize him if
Indy didn't destroy the league every single season. That would buy
him some good grace in the media.

Let me compare Tony Dungy to the coach every one of his critics
basically feels he is the equivalent to: Marty Schottenheimer.
Martyball always exceeds regular season expectations then flames out
in the playoffs. But a closer look reveals these two men are not the
same. For one, Schottenheimer gets criticized immediately following
playoff losses for stupid coaching decisions or for his players being
sloppy and boneheaded. That hasn't happened with Dungy. Is he a tad
conservative sometimes? Sure but welcome to the club. The playoffs
feature a ton of conservative game management. I can promise you
Dungy's conservative coaching moves are a drop in the Indy bucket of
problems. Furthermore, Schottenheimer's pension for playoff meltdowns
may have to do with the fact that his teams recently have not been all
that veteran and there is a psychological buildup because of his
reputation, for or not. Maybe any coach in Schottenheimer's situation
would struggle given that perfect storm.

Finally, no one says exactly what Dungy has done wrong. Unlike
Schottenheimer and other coaches who supposedly aren't made for the
playoffs, everyone criticizes Dungy for the overall result but not for
anything specific. Apparently, coaching is just magic. His teams
always play very hard and all things considered, play smart too. The
defense, Dungy's specialty, seems to always play above their
experience and talent level in big games. Look at all of the Colts
playoff games the last 6 years or so. The offense game after game
after game does not score as many points as people would have
predicted beforehand, win or lose. So I guess Dungy could be
criticized for not firing his offensive coordinator Tom Moore. But
Moore is well-respected and I have not heard anyone point out why
Moore is at fault. Darn those specifics. Seeing how Dungy is being
treated, I can see why "fall guys" are so common in business and
politics. No one asks any questions when you can focus enough ire
toward one particular scape goat. It's like extreme Bush bashing.
Once you have decided the man is pure evil, you can criticize him for
everything from World War II to AIDS in Africa.

As for the Buccaneers winning the Super Bowl once Dungy left, how many
coaches help their teams improve in their first season? This happens
constantly, to the point that I am now refusing to cast my support for
the Coach of the Year Award behind a first year coach again. So the
fact that an offensive guru brought a new energy to Tampa Bay and
spruced up the side of the ball that wasn't Dungy's expertise for one
year is no surprise. What has the great Gruden done since that first
year? Not much. I'm not saying Gruden isn't a good coach because he
is but it would seem apparent to me that instead of criticizing Dungy
we should realize that what happened in Tampa Bay is what does happen
on several teams every single NFL season.

What do you guys say?
Why does he deserve to get criticized in the media?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

RIP George

Always do whatever's next.

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

Religion is just mind control.

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

The status quo sucks.

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

Think off-center.
*ed note: If you haven't listened to James McMurtry, you should. "Out here in the middle, where the centers on the right"



Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.