Friday, May 2, 2008

Saban’s trip to Huntsville last night.

This is completely stolen from Archie, this was passed on to me through an email this morning and the apparently legendary spy deserves all the credit for these notes.

Notes from the SaBear/REC Revival meeting in Huntsville last evening...

Sporting a teal (as in it could have come straight from the Miami Dolphins team store) blazer, Nick Saban arrived as the '80s rock star of the Crimson Caravan last evening in Huntsville.

He joked that he'd heard too much criticism about always wearing one of his three (he does have more than one!) gray suits that he branched out with the Don Johnson look, complete with the black mock turtleneck.

Anyway, during his brief visit with the media before speaking to a crowd of about 700 foaming at the mouth turder incestors at the South Hall of Von Braun Center, he spoke highly of the spuat nation, who he asserts is deserving of the imminent return to their "rightful" place among college football powers. (I thought they were already there - 8th or 9th best program in the SEC this decade.)

He was clearly not happy with the published reports of his private comments during his Crimsom Revival stops at Dothan and Talladega earlier last week and this week; he told the media present that if he saw his visit mentioned or if any of his remarks were printed or recorded in any form, he would not return to Huntsville to speak again.

Later, when he addressed the true believers and rock star worshippers, he warned them, too, that if any of his comments made it to the internet, he'd never set foot in a REC meeting in Huntsville again. Shortly thereafter, his storm troopers starting taking photos and names of the 700 members of the congregation in case they needed to track down any infidels later. They KNOW where YOU live!

His actual speaking engagement lasted 20-25 minutes. He really got the cousin grinders and 'necks fired up and they interrupted his fire and brimstone speech every 2-3 minutes with standing ovations and Rebel yells. I'm convinced if you closed your eyes and just listened to his molding and manipulation of the true believers, you could easily transport yourself back to the late '30s, early '40s and find yourself in Nazi Germany -- listening to Hitler scream and shout about PURITY of RACE, RIGHTFUL PLACE IN HISTORY, DOMINATING THE WORLD...and on and on. Seriously.

He reminded everyone of "how close" spuat was to dominating the SEC last year (close, late losses to eventual BCS Champion LSU as well as an OT loss to this year's pre-season #1 pick, UGA); he promised that "they" hadn't seen anything yet, that last year's #1 ranked recruiting class was "just the beginning"...within three years spuat's 85-man squad would be the biggest, strongest, deepest, most talented 85-man squad in all of college football. He repeated (at least 3-4 times) the mantra that HE would DOMINATE his in-state rival on and off the field, that college football would soon FEAR the spuat Program....that college football programs, coaches, and fans would absolutely "rue the day" HE took the head coaching job at spuat. That remark drew a standing O that was heard throughout southeast Huntsville for 3-4 minutes. In addition, I'm pretty sure I saw close to 100 cousins drop to the floor and start having sex - they were so excited about the Savior's promises...

By the way, I would offer photographic evidence of this but all cameras and cell phones were confiscated at the door.

At any rate, the SaBear closed the evening's worship service with the same closing remarks heretofore offered at all of his recent Revival meetings...

"The University of Alabama is special. Alabama fans are special."

"I am special."

Autographed copies of THE SaBear with his 2008 National Recruiting Championship Trophy were sold at the door on the way out; they were sold out in less than 5 minutes.

4 comments:

GatorInMGM said...

Sabear was 2-4 against Tubbs and Auburn with LSU talent. He is now 2-5, soon to be 2-6, and clock is ticking. On the plus side, he is a good fit for the tahd. The deluded fan base with little man syndrome now has a coach to match.

ars1022 said...

What a crock, talk about tide fans being delusional, it seems you are delusional to the fact that all you worry about is what Saban and the tide is doing. If you think hes not worth a damn then STFU about it and sit back and watch. If its true you'll get to enjoy it when the bama fan base tears him to pieces. And by the way Huntsville is far from redneck cousins having sex, you'd been a lot closer if youd written that when saban was in Talladega, anybad I bid you, your worthless article, and your single oblivious poster good day sirs.

Anonymous said...

Saban will no doubt turn the Tide around, but it is funny to parallel His little man syndrome and strong arm tactics with that of Hitler

GatorInMGM said...

STFU? My my. I guess we hit a nerve didn't we? Oops.

Row tahd, redneck.

Go Gators!!! and War Eagle! :)